There Ain’t No Half-Way Joes

Story by Destro Designs / Viper Den Studios 

“Ain’t no such things as half-way crooks” is one of the many killer lines from The Infamous queens bridge rap-duo Mobb Deep. A Soundtrack to stick up kids everywhere, and one my favorites.

But this sentiment rings true when I think about how people of all ages feel about Gi Joe.

Whether youre in my age ranges of 40-50, which is the sweet spot for getting the main years of the toy line in real time as well as the prime time for the Sunbow Cartoon on TV, or if you happen to be in your late 20’s and early 30’s, just entering the fandom, like some members of this community are. But regardless of how or when you came upon Gi Joe, you are either an obsessive, over the top collector and/or consumer of the product, or you could care less in general.

In my experience, there really isnt a middle ground. Those who fall under Crystal Balls spell and slide down the rabbit hole that is the insanely deep and expansive world, it became hard not to embrace it all, and be welcoming to the hook.

Its filled with dozens of charcater rich soldiers and leaders, that are all hell bent on fighting each other to the bitter end.

Cobra will stop at nothing to rule the world and the Joes are willing to lay down their lives to prevent that from happening.

As a kid, I looked up to the Joes with moral admiration, but also loved how freaking cool Cobra was, and how bad ass all of their guys looked. Its a unique place where iam obsessed with both sides of the coin and I feel like I win, everytime, regardless if the coin comes up heads or tails.

Before Gi Joe, I liked a bunch of different toys. I liked Hot Wheels, I dug the details and the feel of the weighted metal cars. Legos were super cool, lots of fun with those and I thought He-Man was pretty cool. Skeletor was a crazy bad ass villain, Man-At-Arms, Trap-Jaw, Stridor and the Battle Ram was really awesome. I thought that was all great.

And then I Saw Destro, bought him and Snake Eyes V1 and I dropped ALL of those toys like a bad habit, quit cold turkey and never looked back.

The rest of 1983 was spent feverishly trying to get every Figure that was on the back of Destro’s File Card. Begging my parents and family members to get me ANYTHING from that list. 1984 had some icons drop and the fever reached a scorching pitch and never broke. 1985 really brought it up a level once again, but by Christmas 1986 I was completely wrapped in the Gi Joe flag and couldnt even see another toy as I was blinded by the 3¾ greatness of this line.

Christmas 1986 was the fruit of my labor from a years long propaganda campaign waged on my parents, Santa Claus and all my aunts and uncles. I saw such arrivals as the H.A.V.O.C. , The Surveilance Port, The Thunder Machine, The Tomahawk, Recon Sled, The STUN and the Hydro Sled, along with a slew of killer figures such as a few of my game changing all timers in Beachead, Low Light, Mainframe and troop building Icons such as the BAT and The Viper. I went from a kid “who loves those toys” into something that even at that age, i knew was different. I was obsessed. Truly.

As it was in 1986, it is true, once again. Iam experiencing that obsession, but now, I have the internet to share all these feelings with and as it turns out, iam not alone. In fact, theres an endless stream of those who are also deeply immersed into the world of these amazing characters and figures. Which is awesome in so many ways. But the one thing I noticed was, people arent fair weather fans, or sort-of interested. No, people were like me, or they barely cared or even knew people beyond Snake Eyes and Cobra Commander.

Iam so glad to have met all of you deep into this world of Gi Joe, and that iam able to enjoy this experience with those who live their life through the lens of being Gi Joe obsessed. Because in my Gi Joe community, there aint no such things as half-way way crooks.