1986: The Figures VI Beach Head, The 1.01
By Destro Designs – Viper Den Studios
There are so many different versions of the G.I. Joe lore and continuity between the cartoon, file cards, and personal head canon that it’s almost impossible to keep a laser shot focused through all of them. But Beach Head’s scowl and badass, take-no-shit, kill-’em-all attitude does exactly that.
We all see Beach Head the same way, largely.
Right from the jump in Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, he’s acting like the fun police for all the Joes. General Hawk tries to understand that everyone has a personality and that it needs to be expressed. Beach Head is like, “No, MF’er, everyone has a JOB, and if that job doesn’t get done, it costs people their lives.” He can’t see it any other way.
But that’s what makes Beach Head, Beach Head.
When someone suggests a balaclava-less head for a Beach Head figure, any Beach Head fan would say the same thing:
It doesn’t matter, because without the balaclava, he’d still have a screw face on and be mean-mugging everybody.
What has always stuck out to me is that Beach Head and another one of my favorite characters, Major Bludd, are largely the same dude on different sides of the coin.
Both are on the front lines with enough accolades to easily sit in a boardroom and make war plans with the suits. But screw that. These dudes need the smell of a hot barrel, the feel of the iron, and the joy of victory covered in the blood of their enemies.
It’s a large part of why I love both characters and figures.
But Beach Head has the coolest, most badass look, and I feel I identify with his need to be shoulder to shoulder with the rest of the crew down in the suck and not stuck in a stuffy room where hardly anyone has a clue what it’s like to do the things he’s done.
It’s almost a disgust for the boring and monotonous.
Sometimes people feel the most alive when they’re closest to death. Some people can’t feel anything without the weight of the world—and the weight of other people’s worlds—on their shoulders as well. Some people want to smack the hell out of everything, every day, in the hardest way possible.
We’re not guaranteed tomorrow, so I bring it every goddamn day to everything that comes my way. So when these lights go out, there’s no doubt that I squeezed every ounce of motherfucking juice out of this life and showed everyone around me that we only win if we stick together. I showed my kids that you only have your word and your hard work to your name, and that’s how you make your way—by reaching out and taking what’s yours.
That’s Beach Head.
As for the figure, I’ll sum it up quickly.
The accessories are elite. The sculpt and paint are elite. Only Snake Eyes and Destro are better than him.
I always thought the item on the side of his backpack was a mortar round or an RPG warhead. Nope. My mind was blown when Snowleopard told me it was a grappling hook. Then, just as I was getting my mind back together, JustAnotherJerk told me it was a mine-clearing device, and it changed everything.
Add a crossbow with bolts to that pack, ammo strapped to his chest, and the coolest weapon in the line, and forget it.
Put all this together and you get an incredible figure and character—my favorite.
Because Destro and Snake Eyes are above ranks and listings, Beach Head holds the torch as the most awesome, badass figure and character.
Hell yeah.
