How I Rank My Favorite G.I. Joe ARAH Figures
By Destro Designs–Viper Den Studios
If you’ve ever heard me mention my favorite 3¾-inch G.I. Joe figures, it probably barely made any sense.
The truth is, I could genuinely have three different Top 10 lists:
- Figures I owned
- Figures I never owned
- A combination of both
Usually, when I talk about my favorites, I’m referring to the figures I actually had and became completely obsessed with. That doesn’t mean I don’t hold other figures in equally high regard.
For instance, I rarely mention Snow Serpent, even though I honestly think it’s arguably the greatest 3¾-inch action figure ever made—not just in G.I. Joe, but in any toy line.
The problem is, I didn’t get Snow Serpent until I was almost 11 years old. By then, I was already coming out of that completely obsessive stage of collecting. Even so, it’s still arguably one of my all-time favorites.
There are also some very strange rules I use when making my “Top 10.” For starters…my Top 10 has 24 figures.
I simply can’t narrow it down to only ten.
For example, my #3 spot is shared by Major Bludd, Scrap-Iron, and Low-Light. They were all incredible figures that I was equally obsessed with as a kid. There’s just no separating them.
#4: Hit & Run, Mainframe, Cobra Commander
#5: Viper, Cobra Trooper, Ambush, Salvo
#6: Iron Grenadier, Airtight, Blizzard
#7: Night Viper, Heat Viper, Lightfoot
#8: Rock ‘n Roll (Version 2), Repeater
#9: Recoil, Toxo-Viper
#10: Duke, Flint
The Top of the List Is Different
My #2 spot belongs to Shockwave and the Alley Viper.
I’ve probably said this a hundred times, but I absolutely freaking love these figures. If they had received the same level of character development and screen time as my #1 pick, they’d probably all be tied for first place.
#1.01: Beach Head
Beach Head stands alone.
The card art, the file card, the figure, and the character all come together perfectly. To me, he’s simply one of the biggest badasses in the entire G.I. Joe universe. I absolutely love everything about that figure and character.
Now, if you’re wondering why some obvious names seem to be missing, let me clear up the confusion.
Destro, Snake Eyes, and Firefly—coincidentally my first three G.I. Joe figures—exist on an entirely different level.
They’re beyond rankings.
Those figures and their characters are completely beyond reproach. They can’t even be compared to the rest of my list. They’re the Golden Gods of my personal G.I. Joe mythology.
I love them endlessly, and they’ve earned their place on the pantheon of heroes and villains.
Firefly, along with Major Bludd and Scrap-Iron, remains one of the most criminally underused characters in the franchise. They’re so incredibly cool that even the little attention they’ve received has cemented them as fan favorites.
The rankings from #4 downward shuffle around from time to time. Maybe I reread a comic, or maybe I spend some time looking at the original card art and figures, and suddenly someone jumps a few spots.
But that’s one of the best parts about collecting toys.
I’m an adult.
I’m the boss of my own list.
And if I want my Top 10 to include 24 figures, then by damn, I’m going to have a 24-figure Top 10.
Someday I’ll put together a definitive ranking of every ARAH figure.
Although, knowing me, that “Top 10” is probably going to include about 50 figures.
…Okay, maybe 40.
Until then, let me know your Top 10!
