Get the Skinny on Batman v Superman *Spoilers*


The last time I picked up a Batman comic was when Bane broke Batman’s back. The last time I picked up A Superman comic was when he died!

I went to Batman vs Superman this week because I wanted to avoid the crowds. I did not realize that there would be just a dozen people in the theater and still one loudmouth kept talking about whatever Bat history he thought he knew to the people with him. Luckily, all I heard was “hrble hrm muffle muff.” Still a bit annoying. People, the theater is not your couch, shush. For the longest time all you heard was oh noes Batfleck.
Well I hate to break it to you but it does not take an Oscar winner to play Batman (Affleck has two). It takes a stuntman. It does take a decent actor to play a rich playboy with deep psychological issues that match the villains he takes on. One step too far and the world’s greatest detective becomes the world’s deadliest villain.

I think my biggest problem was I kept confusing Jesse Eisenburg with Matthew Gray Gubler and wondering how he could shave his head and still do Criminal Minds. These are the things that occur to me in a movie that does not hold my interest.

Why did Batman vs Superman not hold my interest?
It was a victim of poor editing.
Too many scattered plot points that kept popping up.
Lois Lane in peril
death of Jimmy Olson
Batman having dreams
Batman and Alfred interacting
Batman’s two visions of the future
Wayne flashing back to losing his parents.
I know that pearls on the gun scene was cool but give it a rest.
Then you have Superman and his God complex
Superman’s visions.
Superman’s mistakes
Batman’s mistakes.
We get it. They are flawed heroes in your script. Move on don’t beat a dead horse.

Even Wonder Woman, played fantastically by Gal Gadot with fun and intensity, suffered from the repetitive and we barely saw her. Michael Shannon played a corpse very well. So what is it all about?

Batman aka Bruce Wayne is in Metroplis the day Superman and Zod have their epic fight. I think in this world Gotham and Metropolis are like New York and New Jersey, not that far from each other. So Bruce is on the ground (not Batman) saving people as the two Kryptonians battle it out with huge collateral damage. Bruce sees Superman more and more as a threat than a hero, based on Kal El’s actions. Bruce grieves his parents. A lot. Especially Martha, another name that is hammered into our memory so we won’t forget it later.

Bruce decides he needs Kryptonite and builds a series of Kryptonite weapons when he is not bumping into the mysterious woman who steals his hard drive. there is ahole subplot about how to get Kryptonite. There is also a training montage with Bruce working out getting ready to take on Superman. Lex has some grand plan that in between all the chaos and extra visions and dreams of our two heroes, begins to gradually become clear.

I will say that Desert Batman fighting the followers of Superman was a pretty cool dream sequence. The problem is there was too much of that type of divergence from the main story. Lex manipulates the Senator, he manipulates the Wayne employee who hates Superman, he manipulates both of our heroes all as a distraction.


So he can concentrate on resurrecting Zod in what has to be the dumbest plan. He creates Doomsday. Yup that Doomsday, the one who came to earth and killed Superman in the comics with his spiky lovely demeanor.
He is a bit more vocal in the movie though. This fight, the one with Wonder Woman kicking more tail than Batman and Superman combined ( where was she when Doomsday appeared in the comics?)
is the real gem of the movie. Her musical theme and the way she portrays Wonder Woman is done very well. I have read even fewer Wonder Woman comics than Batman and Superman but she was what I envisioned as being Wonder Woman.

After the battle and the death of Superman, we go through a torrential rain of scenes dealing with his death. Too many scenes. We see Wayne’s reaction, we see Wonder Woman’s reaction, Martha Kent’s reaction. Perry White’s reaction, Lex’s reaction, Batman threatening Lex in his cell, Batman learning about just who is coming. Ding Ding Ding. Lois and the ring. It was all just too many scenes crammed into 2 and a half hours.
It could have been done in two hours but I think there were a lot of things Snyder wanted to drive home.

I liked parts of it but overall it was too poorly edited to give it a great recommendation. If the movie had been more in tone with the Doomsday fight scene I would have enjoyed it a lot more. Trying to convince me that heroes are flawed and human (or Kryptoninan) defeats the purpose of entire hero genre. I would have enjoyed it much more if it had been more concise in its storytelling.

What did you think about Batman v Superman? Let us know after the JUMP!



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