The POP-EXPOSE ‘My Top 10 G.I.JOE’S’ by Mitchell Smith


Today’s article courtesy of Serpentorslair Contributor Mitchell Smith!

This week I am picking my top ten list of G.I. Joe’s
I am basing my selections on 3 factors.
1. Action figure appeal , I didn’t factor in vehicles but I will mention them if my character comes with one .
2. Who I would want in a battle standing next to me making sure I didn’t die.
3. AND, This is my twist, as most Northerners are packing the summer stuff away and tuning up the snow blowers, my final cut is who I would want on my team if we were to be stuck at our arctic base for the next 6 months. Who I would want for reasons out side of battle, mostly who would provide entertainment on those long cold winter nights. So without further ado here is my top ten team in no particular order:

Frost Bite
Action Figure: Frostbite has had a few figures but you know the old saying, “If it aint broke don’t fix it”. The original figure was really well done from the beard to the rifle, and he came with the Snow Cat, one of the all time best vehicles ever made. I had one as a kid and I have an original and one of the recent versions, and it’s still cool as cool.
Going into battle: Well I need some fire power and a vehicle that can go virtually anywhere, although any Joe could operate the Snow Cat, I would want Frostbite on my team to operate it because he knows it best.
Entertainment: I don’t remember Frostbite being overly funny or crazy, but I need someone who can repair vehicles and keep them maintained and running in the frigid weather, so Frostbite makes my team.

Action figure: The M.M.S. was one of the first vehicles I ever had, I still have the body from that origin one. M.M.S happens to be my initials as well but Hawk who started out as an operator of this vehicle has been A Joe since the beginning. Hawk was revamped and appointed General in 86 and has had a number of figures, I love the 1982, 86, and the 1991 Hawk with the jet pack is just pure awesomeness.
Going into battle: Hawk didn’t become General for nothing. His straight shooting, figure out all the sticky situations, and never give up Attitude puts him at the top of my list as a Joe and a leader.
Entertainment: Well we can’t all be wild and crazy, so Hawk is on the team to keep us under control and make sure we are ready to go if we need to. He may be the boss, but I think we can get him to chill out on a cold winter night.

SGT Slaughter
Action figure: Not an over abundance of figures but both the Triple-T and the Warthog are awesome vehicles that Slaughter came with. Both figures were cool and the removable hat was very cool. I didn’t have the Triple T as a kid but the Warthog I did, one of my all time favorite vehicles I don’t have in my collection.
Going into battle: I don’t think I have to say a lot about it. Who’s tougher, and who will kick more butt and keep the team in line and in shape throughout a long cold winter.
Entertainment: Well I’m sure anyone growing up in the eighties watched a couple WrestleMania’s, and even though he will keep us tight and alert there is room for a little fun if Mario and Luigi happen to stop by. Lets get them Koopas.

Scarlett & Lady Jaye
Action Figure: Scarlett was in the original line up and a staple character throughout the franchise, although Lady Jaye came a few years later she was a huge part of the cartoon and her 1985 figure is one I have never owned, but she is on my soon to own list. Both characters have had multiple figures and are time and time again revamped and kept fresh in the Joe lineup.
Going into battle: If I had to go into battle with a GIRL(LOL) I wouldn’t want any other then these 2. Strong, persistent, and maybe deceptive to the enemy who thinks they would be a push over, they pack a pretty good punch and have won their fair share of battles over the years.
Entertainment: Originally I was only going to take Lady-Jaye, but I thought that would be cruel to pen her up with 9 other guys, so I brought Scarlett along, but both will provide more than their share of entertainment (get your minds out of the gutter guys) and if us guys get out of line, both will be sure to put us back in our place.

Snake Eyes
Action figure: Part of the original 13, Snake Eyes has been an enigma to say the least. The mysterious black masked mute has been one of the most popular characters on the Joe team. I’ve often said “Not another Snake Eyes figure” only to find myself buying it and saying this figure is so cool. Although I never had a Snake Eyes figure as a kid until the 1989 version and I still lack the 1982 version, Snake Eyes by far is the figure I have the most versions of in my collection.
Going into battle: Well if ever anyone needed a well rounded do it all, figure out a way to win or escape certain death, this is your man. I wouldn’t want to be next to anyone other then Snake Eyes.
Entertainment: Snake Eyes may not entertain us with noise, but the silence may be what we laugh at most, kind of like a mime, jokes go deeper than a punchline. To break the boredom I see us starting a round of Dancing with the Stars Joe style and Snake Eyes laying down some serious dance moves.

Action figure: He has been a staple character for GI Joe for 3 decades. There have been numerous versions of Shipwreck. He was the first action figure I ever bought with my 10th birthday money. From the first version to the most recent this character has always stayed fresh and up with the times.
Going into battle: I know I’m going to get 110% and no matter if we are on land or in the Icey Arctic water he is willing to fight for my team. Shipwreck will take it all on and come through in the clutch.
Entertainment: We are going to be cooped up for 6 months and I don’t think anyone will keep us more entertained than this salty sailor.

Action figure: Roadblock came onto the scene and his most noticeable accessory was the very large machine gun he came with. Over the years there have been many figures and he has been a staple character since 1984. I didn’t have the original figure as a kid, but I did have the 1986 version.
Going into battle: Roadblock, doesn’t back down from anyone. I need someone for some brute strength and someone to operate some serious firepower against any attacks on our arctic base. I think I have found my man.
Entertainment: It is going to be a long winter and if we have to go out and spear us a seal or something to stay alive, well Roadblock will be the one who can make it taste good.

Action figure: Low-Light is just a really cool looking figure, this is one I had as a kid and there have been a few versions of him. He is a bit mysterious in the cartoon and who doesn’t love those golden locks.
Going into battle: Well I need a good sharp shooter, one who can sit out on the cold front all night long and take out the enemy at 500 yards before anyone even wakes for a pee in the middle of the night.
Entertainment: Well Low-Light is more for protection then entertainment, but I think we can get him to break a move, and it will be more then funny to see his dry personality getting down on the dance floor.

Wild Bill
Action figure: Wild Bill is one of the figures that I got from my cousin as a hand me down and I still have his head with half a broken hat. I nice figure that has been done quite a few times, any of his figures with a removable hat and 6 shooters are A+ in my book, Oh and he came with one of the most awesome helicopters in the Joe line.
Going into battle: Wild Bill is a bit crazy but you can always count on air support or a lift out of a jam from him.
Entertainment: Well I think Wild Bill will be the one kicking up his heals and boot scoot and booging, there may be a few outside late night shots fired in the air, but that’s why I’m bringing him the Dragon Fly and the life of the party and keeping us on our toes.
So this is my winter team for the next 6 months, I hope we don’t kill each other.

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