1986, The Figures, Part 2: It’s Getting Serious
By: Destro Designs – Viper Den Studios
Jumping right into more of the G.I. Joe figures from this incredible year, I’m starting off with what was my favorite Roadblock. I know V1 holds a special place in people’s hearts, but he was largely shirtless, so this one — looking tough as hell in his vest, sporting a white tee and his classic L7A2 GPMG with tripod — just hit differently. A really, really awesome figure. I didn’t get him right away, but I loved this version, and when he started showing up in the cartoon with this vest, I freaking loved it. Marvin Hinton was crushing the competition with this V2.
Arguably the figure that stands out the most, and is a staple of this year, is Sci-Fi. I felt like he was an important figure in that he stood out like a motherfucker and was a great representation of the sci-fi aspect of the line. He had a killer pack that ran a hose to the laser rifle. I’m a sucker for a hose. Every time. Also, his chest plate and helmet had a RoboCop feel, and I dug it. He represented something cool, and I was glad that this figure was made.
A dud I kind of want to just breeze by is Iceberg. While a decent sculpt, he was boring as shit. Fully winter uniform with no damn accessories. One white rifle with no detail is just a kick in the nuts, big time. When it was wintertime and the Snow Cat was out along with Blizzard, he made for good background filler and appropriately took up space. But other than that, he can kick rocks.
The next two I’m gonna sorta tackle simultaneously: Wet-Suit and Leatherneck. As figures, they were extra cool to me because their characters in Season 2 of the Sunbow cartoon were friends who argued in a way you usually only see in married couples. But as a kid, I dug it. I was around a lot of arguing, so it was something that represented a real-life aspect of G.I. Joe to me. Like Sgt. Slaughter being a real person, Leatherneck and Wet-Suit’s relationship was striking. It truly meant something to me, and because of that, I enjoyed them both.
Leatherneck is the quintessential Marine and an ultra badass. After stealing Serpentor’s axe and setting off one of the coolest episodes ever, he gets poked by a venom-tipped dart and slips into a coma. Wet-Suit then goes to great lengths to get the anti-venom and save his life, furthering their bond.
Wet-Suit, the figure, was just so cool. Another figure that had a crazy off-color uniform that was awesome despite looking a little like a tube of toothpaste. Amazing card art, and both Classified versions are 10/10 knockouts. They argued like a married couple, but when the dust settled, they were down for each other. Excellent characters and figures.
And lastly in this serving of 1986, we have the David Bowie-in-Labyrinth-style codpiece held up by suspenders that glow over his shirtless torso, all attached to a fucking flowing cape draped over an absolutely ripped physique. It’s all just flat-out insane — and that’s without saying a word about his character!
Screw Golobulus and his attempt to steal Mindbender’s thunder about creating Serpentor. Who cares what that wiggling, flaccid, one-eyed wanker thinks he did? Mindbender is a treasure — a weird treasure — but a treasure nonetheless, and he’s our weird treasure.
He, like everyone else, was fed up with Sunbow Cobra Commander and did what was best for the crew. Also, Destro agreed, so we know it was the right call.
Mindbender will always be the lynchpin to world domination. So many Cobra plans ran through him, usually involving some kind of chemical, setting off some of the most awesome Joe vs. Cobra plots ever. His figure didn’t come with anything especially cool besides those weird probe-looking things, but it didn’t matter.
In Mindbender We Trust.
Join me Friday for the next installment of 1986: The Figures.
